Jolly, the Extreme Elf
December 5, 2016
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The Guides' Climbing Adventures Uncategorized What’s it like being an Elf and working for Santa?”
This is the question that everyone is eager to have answered. Well I hate to burst any bubbles but I’m not actually an elf!!!! Nope, 100% human here. It’s pretty obvious from my height and lack of pointed ears.
“Imposter!!!”
No, think not. I’m the real deal. I’ve been training Elves with the SPG-E2 for two amazing years! The South Pole Group – Entry and Escape, specialized in contained structures and escape. SPG-E2 deals with all the housing units that don’t have chimney access or common access, such as hotels; apartment buildings; condominiums; and airports. They also specialize in escapes.
“What do you mean escapes?”
Well not everything always goes to plan and sometimes during a package drop, an elf or Santa will require assistance or extraction. I was fortunate to find the South Pole Group, and be offered an instructor position teaching an amazing group of talented jolly people. My past military experience translated into functional methods for entry and extraction as well as the understanding that secrets must be kept at all costs.
“South Pole? Wait. Wait. Wait.”
Yeah, South Pole. The guys at the North Pole do Christmas functions and toy making. The boring stuff – even though it’s what everyone looks forward to. You have to have seen the movies where the elves had technology and were conducting missions????
That’s the South Pole Group! I train those guys.
And this year I was lucky enough to be asked to return to Chimney Rock State Park to accompany Santa himself in a rappelling exercise to build Christmas spirit and practice Chimney entry with Santa!
Fox Mountain Guides was kind enough to provide us with some non-magical climbing equipment to train with. They also gave me a couple coupons redeemable for climbing with one of their outstanding guides. We will be giving those away this upcoming December 10th 2016 at Chimney Rock State Park!
Hope to see you out there!
Sgt Mike (Jolly) McClarty
Senior Training Staff
SPG-E2
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